I wonder about a lot of things. Like haze floating in my mind. Perhaps the repetition of the daily routine has taken a toll on me. Tasks are predictable and too mundane for me to gain any sort of excitement or fulfillment from it. Chores are chores. Cooking, Cleaning, doing the laundry, playing with my baby... pretty much everything is only physically draining but its not something that stimulates any other part of me.
Why do i feel like such an idiot doing all these chores... i need to find something to wreak havoc on my brain. I'm lost in my own head, of all things... i am my greatest enemy at this point. I wish to do something more, be a little bit selfish and do something for myself which will bring some sore of fulfillment without feeling guilty that i took time away from my family.
Juggling chores is easy... its a bit sad when i realized that preparing something new and attempting to exert myself in difficult prep work for our nightly meal made me look like a robot. time passes by but my brain stays immobile, hands do all the work and its like going on autopilot. like many things... often times i feel like I'm so out of it.
perhaps my brain is turning into purple ooze after watching too much Barney with my daughter. ahaha... bleeeh..
Wednesday, June 10, 2009 at 8:56am
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